Celebrate! Go On. Embrace Your Sensitivity Superpowers!
This is the face of an empath who finally understands why she felt invisible at a young age, had few close relationships, and thus, became an observer of life, not a participant. Us sensitives are super good at observing since we have more sensors and feelers, but letting people in can be hard.
How did I get this way, am I missing a gene, or just born weird? I knew I was different but without childhood caretakers who paid attention to my feeling and mirrored my wonderfulness back to me, I didn't understand how to be in the world without a false mask that was my only passport to social interaction. Inside of me, I still feel disconnected from people. Last week finally the last piece of the puzzle to understand how I got this way fell into place and I am still very grateful and relieved
IT WASN'T MY FAULT, I AM NOT WEIRD. I JUST DIDN'T GET CONNECTED TO PEOPLE THROUGH MY EMOTIONS OR SENSES. I WAS DEPRIVED OF MY MOST IMPORTANT EDUCATION FOR A SENSITIVE PERSON. NOW, I AM RETRAINING MY BRAIN TO FEEL SAFE OUT IN THE WORLD AS ME.
What triggered this realization was an article I read about Emotional Neglect and how being raised in an emotionally cold and touched starved home affected sensitive people deeply. Without emotional feedback or physical touch, it can be a sentence to a solitary life, invisibility, and underachievement. My people skills were taught to me by a very charming mother who had a pretty face but had no emotional connection to anyone. I hardly think she knew I was there except as a bother or as a pest as I was called. There was no physical neglect but I lived in a silent, secretive, emotionally bankrupt home.
No one dared to speak about anything to do with feelings and I knew little about my parents. I was so desperate to connect with them in any way I could that when they were gone, I would rifle through their drawers and closets for clues to who the heck these people were. I never dared share my emotions, never challenged their decisions, and was taught that life would take care of me if I was just a good girl. But I was the loneliest girl in my world. Following formality and rules were all that mattered. Be perfect, figure it out yourself, get no guidance, emotional support, or encouragement.
Emotional neglect is so damaging for children, not only sensitive ones, but all children. Our parents are windows to the world. If the emotional and sensory windows stay shut we never really feel grounded or bonded with people and can develop anxiety and depression because we are filled with enormous amounts of feelings that rattle around in us without resolution. When we believe we don't matter, are filled with years of unexpressed emotions in our bodies which can turn on us as anxiety, depression, and addiction. Because of our sensitive nervous systems, we feel so deeply but tend to stay silent and numb ourselves in some way just to cope with life. Some become addicts, some commit suicide, many are anxious and depressed and spend years in therapy.
Without being able to learn or express who I was, I didn't feel connected to people. I lived in an invisible cage that no warmth or connection could penetrate. I was frozen with grief and fear because I didn't feel I belonged anywhere.
It is possible to forgive ourselves for landing in a family that was incapable of helping us develop our sensitivity? You bet but it takes work to understand how to take care of ourselves as empaths or highly sensitive people. The shame of being "sensitive" is gone but the mental patterns remain and there must be a reeducation of who we are and the enormous power of the empathy, insight, and intuition we possess.
My journey was truly well worth it because now I can help others to be free of the negative beliefs they have about themselves. It is an exciting time now for we are on the cusp of increased education about an estimated two billion sensitive human beings, who are wired differently, many of whom have lived without the knowledge of the power and gifts their sensitive brains gift them.
"A warm-hearted connection is the greatest gift we can give or receive." HeartMath
Please don't forget how important it is to recognize your children, listen to them and give them respect. The freedom to express themselves is how they learn who they are and what they want and stand for in life.
Below are the classes that I am teaching starting the last week of this year, including a course called Are You An Empath? which is an in-person class in Ashland on January 30 from1:30-3 pm at the Pony Expresso Coffee House. If you are interested in attending this live event, send me an email.
New Classes Starting in December 2021
Empathic Manifesting December 28th, 2021
1-2:30 pm PST at Eventbrite Online
Money, Love and Happiness 2022
5 Sessions January 12-February 9th, 2022
1-2:30 pm PST on my events page at www.trueheartraining.com
Sign up for one or all five sessions which cover topics like
empowerment, finance, relationships, health, and livelihood
These classes are a great gift to every sensitive person as they can learn who they truly are.
Happy Holidays, Merry Christmas, Happy Kwanzaa, and the best 2022.